Power of books

I remember giving my younger sister life lessons, when I was still young. I told her, “We are from a lower middle class family. Our father works in a small private held company as an accountant. We do not have IAS officers, doctors, scientists, and bureaucrats walk in to the drawing rooms of our house. The seemingly successful people about whom we read about in newspapers and TVs are not within our reach. But there is one way we could reach to them. Through books. We can interact and converse with some of the greatest minds in the world through the books written by them or about them”

I believe more in this thought today than ever before. I dont claim to be well read. But reading is my hobby and with whatever little I have read I think books are the only way to inspire you. Because most often the environment around you is mediocre. People often complain about the quality of their lives not being good. People say their life isn’t happening. But I feel they think so because they arent around people who are happening. It’s books that than can make your lives happening.

You all would know about the 20/80 principle. The world is being driven by 20% of the people (I believe its even less) and 80% follow them. It is these 20% people who are the decision makers and wield authority and influence over other 80%. Though the rest of the species does want to improve it is held up in mediocrity because of lack of examples and inspiration around them. It is through books that one can draw inspiration from and look for examples. If the immediate world around you is mediocre and you fear falling into the same rut of mediocrity read great books. Read biographies of some of successful people to know how they conducted their lives. Books give you hope. Books give you the power to change yourselves if it is backed by genuine intent.

I have seen people debating over the futility of self help books. After so many years reflecting on my past, I can honestly conclude that self help books have been helpful. People often argue that they are mature enough to be needing self help books. And when they read, they would conclude, “there is nothing new”. But most often self help books reinforces things in your mind that we already know. With the daily grind of life, we often tend to forget implementing things that we already know. Personally for me, though I feel the content is common knowledge, I still read it. I feel good to read it because it helps me condition my thought process and distinguish between the right and wrongs of the world. You wouldnt know how and when subtely it would have left an imprint in your mind. And all that you read consistently manifests in some way on your actions.
Some of the books that have shaped me over the years are:

• Jonathan Livingston Seagull: A book recommended by a good friend 5 years back, it continues to inspire me and I try to live upto its message. The message that I can sum up is, as you go up in life, you might feel lonely at the top but you will soon find people of your ilk. Dare to be different. Dare to be ‘weird’ as branded by your peers and challenge the status quo.


• The Secret: It taught me the law of attraction. I want to believe in its explanation.


• The Alchemist: One statement, “When you want something badly, the whole world conspired to help you”


• Go Giver: It taught me the power of giving. Give generously and you would receieve.


• Swami Vivekananda’s books: It again taught me to give back to the world.
• How to win Friends and Influence People: The first book I ever picked up other than course books. Top draw!


• India Unbound: Gurcharan Das’ masterpeice will give you a lot of precious perception about entrepreneurship and India.


• Walmart Story: Sam Walton’s modesty even after owning world’s largest retail chain was too humbling to learn.
  

There are many other books that are business books and autobiographies. I could think of only these now.
(When I asked to one my students in my class on what sort of books she read, she mentioned Chetan Bhagat . It blew my lid over. My next post would be on why I dont read Chetan Bhagat. On second thoughts, my blog doesnt deserve a post on Chetan Bhagat. Apologies to all Chetan Bhagat fans.)
In this tough world in absence of role models, we often are lost. It reminds me of a very learned colleague who said, “In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is the king”. There is a scarcity of hope and inspiration. There is pain and suffering. Often when life presents difficult circumstances we feel hopeless, frustrated, and shattered. We feel like a trapped soul trying to catch some breath. Trust me, a good book can lend you that breath of fresh air. It can lift your spirits. It has the power to alter the course of your life. The power to give life to lifeless, hope to the hopeless.

Though the post is about books, pardon me for digressing. Let me also talk about TED videos. Internet through TED has given us a gift. TED gets some of the best minds of the world to talk to the masses. All these talks are saved on the site for everone’s consumption. A TED talk a day is what i recommend.

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Does grabbing opportunity make you opportunist?

I am reading “Opportunities” by Edward De Bono. I have no qualms in providing you verbatim account of De Bono’s opinion to the question above.

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The word ‘opportunity’ and ‘opportunist’ have bad connotations. They suggest a hovering vulture rather than a hovering eagle. They suggest someone who is hovering and waiting for an opportunity to emerge. Then that person sweeps down and seizes the opportunity ahead of anyone else.

The negative attitude is partly based on jealousy (‘why didn’t i spot that opportunity?’) but also on the feeling that an opportunity is only taken at someone else’s expense. There is a feeling of expediency and short term gain. Opportunity is equated with the activity of a speculative builder who builds and sells shoddy houses and then disappears from sight. There is a feeling of irresponsibility or even outright exploitation. The black marketer is known to be an opportunist. The fast buck merchant and the fly-by-night operator are also opportunists.

Even the entrepreneur is contrasted negatively with the established businessman because there is a tinge of exploitation. Any gains are automatically regarded as being at someone else’s expense. The go getter and the go-go operator are also opportunists.

It cannot be denied that the irresponsible, selfish, exploiting, short-term profiteering opportunist does exist. But it must also be acknowledged that if it were not for people who saw and developed opportunities the standard of living would be very much lower. The United States was a land of opportunity. Henry Ford saw a way of making motor cars that would enable every family to buy a car. Corporations were sometimes slow to see the opportunities turned up by inventors but in the end the developments came about: radio and television, telephones, artificial fibres, air travel, anti-biotics.

The opposite of opportunity seeking is not stability or conservatism, it is stagnation and atrophy. It is wrong to think of opportunity in terms only of new gadgets and expanded industrialization. It may equally be a matter of expanding food production, better methods of birth control, new sources of energy, redesigning jobs so that they are more enjoyable, increasing leisure time, improving education and so on.

We can seek opportunities in any direction we wish and for any purpose we wish. We may seek opportunities for the good of society as much as for the good of our corporation or ourselves. The trouble is that no one would believe such altruism. Society finds it difficult to believe that an organization like IBM can operate opportunities for its own benefit and at the same time serve society by developing and providing improved computers

Society may well need to change its directions, goals and values but that does not necessarily imply an abandonment of the need to progress or improve. And that is what opportunity seeking is about.

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Toastmasters in Bhubaneswar

(Click the poster above for details)

Toastmasters now in Bhubaneswar.
“Boy, do people look at their watches when you’re speaking? Or worse, do they start shaking them to make certain they are still working? Have humming, hawing, and hesitation become your “graces” while speaking?” Well then…….

A Toastmasters Club could just be your solution!! After all, even the lion needs the “roar”! Toastmasters will not only give you the “roar”, but we at times suggest the lion the right places to use his claws as well!

A Toastmasters meeting is a learn-by-doing session! Participants practice their speaking and leadership skills in a friendly supportive atmosphere. Typically, a club has 20-30 members who meet weekly to practice public speaking techniques. Members are given responsibilities and asked to lead - no lectures here! Further details are available at www.toastmasters.org or the wiki article here.

So pals, for better speaking, thinking and listening skills, check out our Bhubaneswar Toastmasters Club. You can attend as a guest and observe how we learn to communicate effectively in a fun-filled, supportive environment.

We’ll be holding the launch session of Bhubaneswar Toastmasters on the16th of Aug '09, Sunday and if you are interested, we would request you to fill in your details in the form here. (It just takes a minute!)
Time : 4-7 PM. Guests are advised to be there 15mins in advance to register
with a session fees of Rs.30 only.
Venue : RoboticWares Pvt Ltd
N4/F25, IRC Village
Near I.D Market
Bhubaneswar - 15

For further details visit our blog here and if you have any queries, then we’re just a call away at the numbers given below.
We sincerely wish your reply would be in the affirmative.

Best Regards,
Preeti Pooja
Core-Team
Bhubaneswar Toastmasters
9853878546, 9853856918,9437933035
bbsrtm@gmail.com

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When Sex is everywhere!

I was 12 am, dead of night. I was reading through my daily subscription of dialy-writing-tips on the Internet; today it was on shibboleths. I was intently absorbing the lessons slowly scrolling down the page, when precisely at that moment, my attention was distracted by this barely clad model ogling overtly at me. Mind you, the site I was reading through had no tangential relation to porn with any stretch of imagination.(You may click the pic above if you want to investigate) What does it do to the libido of a young man at the dead of the night, who is trying to study?.(Ok, though this is not funny, you may laugh) Sex is being push marketed into my mind uninvited, unwarranted, brutally, scathingly.

I don't want to project a holier than thou image of myself, but whoever gave them the right to barge into my circle of influence at the most inopportune moment.

I know Internet is littered with porn and is a huge industry in itself. All efforts to curb this menace has gone futile.. But I thought it was humans who created Internet!

What I am concerned is that this phenomenon is brutal and stark. We have allowed ourselves to become slaves of technology. Today, it’s technology that is dictating our culture. It has taken us at ransom— and a costly one at that.

I fear of tomorrow. I fear of raising my children tomorrow.

I know the advocates of the doctrine of free will, the so called ‘libertarians’ would argue that culture historically has kept evolving; and no single country/community can claim to be a custodian of it. "And if this is the way it has to evolve, so be it.", they would say.

But my point is, are we evolving by choice, or technology is thrusting this evolution on us.

When nudity is distributed all over with gay abandon, the threshold acceptance of it comes down each passing day. I remember when I was way too little, a woman’s picture even with an inkling of cleavage shown, would lower down my eyes in shame. Now bikini clad figures are freely offered early morning at my door step as a supplementary to the morning newspapers. And children of today are being fed with this daily fodder; for them their threshold is already too low. Nothing seems offensive to them today.

My best friend in UK who is married, is scared to raise his kid there. He told me that “the culture there is really bad” and he wouldn’t want his kid to get exposed to that culture. He wanted to gift his children an Indian upbringing. I told him India today is no better—even if we are not as worse, we are reaching there very fast, and technology is helping us. We have allowed it to barge into our bedrooms even when our doors are safely locked; it is through our connected computer screens. It is too naive for us to say that Indian kids are protected. No one is. The world is indeed flattened. Internet has broken that barrier. Our culture is fast evolving.

I have had umpteen discussions with colleagues and friends and I sense that helplessness with everyone. I feel we are only meek spectators to our own fate. Our kids are growing too fast too soon.

Look at some of the young reality shows running on TV. The MTV fed pre-pubescent youth appear on TV, sporting ultra low waist hip hugging jeans. An entire nation of youngsters is hooked to watch them; aghastly there are fan clubs for these dumb witted youngsters, who find their lives ambitions fulfilled here. They are becoming role models of todays youth. They flash their individuality by projecting ‘liberal’ views on some ‘cool’ topics to discuss: one-night stands, live-in relationships, and homosexuality; when their own sexuality is still underdeveloped.

I have been out of school for 10 years now and didn’t know how the children of today talk and think. But I got a taste of truth, when I joined a part time mass comm college where many in my class were just intermediate. I observed them talk. Pretty looking girls have no qualms whatsoever in bitching each other while talking. Punctuating your sentences with expletives is considered cool and is fast catching up.

They say, man can live without food for a week; without hope, not even a second. I want to hope for an honorable future, a glorious one for my children. I hope it is not all that bad as it seems. And that hope will keep me sane enough to survive.

Comments are welcome. Thank you.

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Sententionary

Are you passionate about English language?; do certain magical web of words weave music to your ears?; do you often pause, admire, reflect, and relish such vivid orchestration of words you stumble upon?

Well, I do. I am not a poet, nor have I got the acumen to appreciate poems, but I drool over a well framed English construct--to an extent that I pick and write it down in my diary. I have been having this habit on and off since I was in my 12th class.

My old diary is littered with such nuggets of precious jewels. My most luxuriating moments are when I flip through the worn down pages of the diary, and absorb myself to the collections, sipping them like old wine..

Back then I didn't know how to categorize them. So, I named my collection as Sententionary; just as dictionary stands for treasure of words, Sententionary for me is a collection of English sentences.

So, those of you who share even an inkling of a similar passion, I am letting the treasure chest of my diary open.

It also serves good to those who are lazy to pick books and read, yet have the love for language. So, through this, you get you get your dosage of quality English usages in little bursts.

I will be tweeting them regularly through my twitter id. You can follow the tweets at :

http://twitter.com/raviwriter

I will append my tweets with: Sententionary.

Let me give you some teasers:

• His integrity was as unyielding as granite.
• She tried to pull her mouth into a proper expression of sympathy.
  

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Writing therapy

(This is a picture of a small room in a village 9000 ft above sea in the Himalayas, where I was holed up without electricity, alone, sick and sad, yet found a reason to write)

It is 11:00 pm at night— not my usual sleeping hour. I sleep at around 2 am in the morning usually. But today, I was tired. It had been a long and stressful day. The previous night too I had stayed back late at office. So, a strong urge to retire to bed had set on me. I obliged. But while you can force your body to rest, you don’t wield the same authority over your thoughts. They will play according to their own will. And they did, deluging my little mind from all directions. Half an hour of shuffling and shifting on the bed was enough for me to get up. I was conscious of some strong thoughts and emotions passing by my mind, as if some flood gates had opened.

I hopped out of the bed and grabbed my pen and a paper. An hour late, I observed my mind was mellifluously calm.

What happened? How did an agitated mind in an overworked body, could find solace in this dumb act of writing? Is there any connection of the act of writing with the mind? Let me explore through my experiences.

Writing according to me is an engaging form of intrapersonal communication. It’s better than meditation, because unlike meditation, where your thoughts wander, writing organizes your thoughts. Your thoughts are given discreet shape to form of letters and words. They are there for you to see as they are in front of you. On the other hand, when you think blankly, your thoughts are ethereal, wandering clusters of ideas.

As you write, these floating thoughts are dragged and grounded down to the paper. In due course, your minds gets uncluttered of these random thoughts. You see them neatly put down on paper. You feel lighter. You feel relieved. This was my take on instant writing therapy.

Let me now talk about writing on the long run—as a gradual habit. Does this help you in any way? And my answer is a resounding yes. I am in my fifth year of writing (blogging). All these years I have been a fitful writer, writing according to my whims and fancies. Days would pass by without writing and suddenly when the moment arrives, I would find myself writing through the night till the dawn would break. But if I draw from my experience and prod over it, I would conclude that:

• Growth as a person: One grows as a person as one writes. All the self talk and dialog that goes in the mind, as you write, shapes you and hones you to become a better individual.
• Knowing yourself: Second best thing about writing is that it helps you know yourself better. Trust me on this. You learn to know yourself. Just as a mirror shows you your physical self, writing shows you your soul. You get aware of your deeper secrets. You realize how much of you is a fake; and how much of it is genuine. And that realization again helps in your personal growth.
• Wings to imagination: Third best thing that writing helps is it bolsters you imagination. You become creative and it brings out the best that is it in you. You begin to express your thoughts better. A constant rigmarole of writing unclogs all sediments of inexpression in your mind. Your mind stays oiled . You become your most refined self—self that God meant you to be.

I had written about the benefits of blogging twice before; one was when I completed my 100^th post and one was when I shared my thoughts on what lessons blogging had taught me.

• http://ravikumarwrites.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-100th-post-hurrah.html
• http://ravikumarwrites.blogspot.com/2007/09/what-has-my-little-stint-with-blogging.html

Note: As I finish this post, the watch on the table reads 3:45 am. Have a good day. Good night. :)

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2009: Year of Creativity

This post comes late by six months. Last year, I consciously made a decision to embrace unpredictability in my life; to bring in more color and variety to an otherwise mundane existence. So, I started working on an agenda. An agenda that would help me drive this initiative. After much soul searching, I decided that I would assign a theme to each coming year and strive to inculcate the theme in anything and everything I do.

For 2009, I assigned, “Creativity” as the theme for the year. Though I am not very happy with the commitment levels adhering to this theme, I am glad to have a few successes though. Let me share a few of them:

• Starting the GLAD service: GLAD stands for Grammar Lessons a Day. The idea that cropped up in my mind to share simple grammar lessons with my colleagues, one lesson a day. Creative evaluation: Other than the idea of starting a daily grammar service being creative, the coining of the service as GLAD is more creative indeed.
  
  
• My icebreaker speech: By breaking the mould of a regular icebreaker speech in Toastmasters, bringing in humor was another creative thing to do. Have a look at the speech and let me know what you feel.
  Creative evaluation: I think the idea of narrating incidents in different timezones was very dramatic and creative. I am proud I accomplished it. And I won many prizes for the same.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OI3346wh_0

• Hosting annual event: I hosted the annual event at Bhavans College of Communication all by myself. This was my first attempt to stage a show in front of a live audience. When the audience laughs at your jokes, you know you have done a good job.





• Invented some original jokes: In past few months. Nothing is more endearing that devising your own joke good enough to draw chuckles from an attentive audience. Here they go: Joke 1:"It was introducing a pretty looking girl in our club who was the evaluator for a speech.
  I said, "The next evaluator is a model. ( A brief pause. Very important). I mean a role model. (Audience laughed). She is a role model for all her club members as she brings in all her roles lot of creativity and enthusiasm etc etc" Joke 2: "A husband once introduces her wife to someone, "Meet my wife. She is the pillar of my life." And then in hushed voice in his ears, "Actually a caterpillar. She has been eating into my life" " Joke 3: "Sorry I haven't prepared the speech today. I am speechless. "
  
  
• The idea of assigning themes to year in itself is a figment of creativity.
  
  I am still not happy because I know I didn’t pursue the goal consciously. But I still have 6 months to make up for the lost time. And I know some are in the pipeline and some will surely jump out of the hat. Please watch out for this space.
  
  I am sure each of us go through purple patches of creativity. I would like you all to mention your creative outbursts that you have exhibited in your life.

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Me Inc.

I am delivering my project 3 speech this weekend. The speech title is Me, Inc. Wish me luck.

Objectives of Project 3 speech

The stated objectives for this speech project revolve around being focused and precise:

• Select a speech topic and determine its general and specific purposes.


• Organize the speech in a manner that best achieves those purposes.


• Ensure the beginning, body, and conclusion reinforce the purposes.


• Project sincerity and conviction and control any nervousness you may feel.


• Strive not to use notes

Time allotted: 5 to 7 minutes

Me, Inc.

Miami sunglasses, Govani blazer, Lee T shirt, Levis jeans, Leecooper shoes.
Don’t I seem like a walking billboard carrying a dozen odd brands on my back. But not my fault?

Most of us are brand obsessed. You have your own loyalties towards brands that you are fond of?

And which amongst it is the most important brand for u?

Answer: suppose Levis.

Wrong! The most important brand for you is YOU. And it holds true for each and every individual present in the room. You are your most important brand.

Today I am gonna talk about this very brand called YOU.

Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business that we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of self branding.
Most of us here would be working for a company. Some would be self employed. But nevertheless, you all hold positions at various heights of your career ladder.

But lets forget your positions for a minute. You are not a Sr Tech Lead at Satyam, you are not a Human Resource at IBM, you are not a Sr Training Consultant at Tvarita.

These designations are transient. You will not belong to a company for life. And your affiliation to a function is not forever. You are not defined by your job title. Your identity is not restricted to a job description. There is more to you than that.And I will tell you who you are.

You are the CEO of your own company called Me Inc.
And your joint role is the Head Marketing Manager of the brand called YOU.

It is as simple. And it is tortuously difficult.

You are every bit a brand as much as Nike, Coke or Pepsi. Ridiculous isn't it? Pepsi and me. Why not? Who said brands can only be a product and not you?

To start thinking yourself as a brand, ask yourself the same questions that the brand manager at Nike, Coke or Pepsi asks themselves.

What is the USP of my product? How is my product unique and different than others? How is the brand you unique and different than other people around you.

Give yourself the 15 word challenge. Write what defines you. What is unique about u? And why do you sell?

Read it aloud. Does it pump you up? Does it excite you? If not, how can it appeal to a prospective client?

If not, then you have got a big problem.

And its time to give yourself a serious thought on how to become a brand that you have always wanted to become.

Do the same feature benefit comparison that corporate biggies do for their brands. You all know Starbucks right? It’s the largest coffee chain in the world. Many books have been written about the brand called Starbucks. It turned out that their USP or the most dominant feature was the personalized service that it lavishes on every customer.
Think wat is your dominant feature.

Is brand Vivek known for delivering work on time, every time? Is brand Swathi known to complete her projects within allotted resources? Is brand Srinath known to be the “Go To” guy in his team, where team members approach him for all technical queries. Ask yourself what is it that you can unabashedly brag about and shamelessly take credit for.


How do I market?

Now you worked on your dominant feature. You added requisite skill. You think u r unique. The product is ready… But like any other brand, the product YOU needs to be marketed. So how do you market the brand YOU?

There is no truck or lorry that carries this product from production to market.But the good news is the brand you is its self moving. Meets different people every moving hour either face to face, or telephone or through messages. And in each of these occasions it exhibits its dominant features. Every time this brand talks on phone, the voice on the other side registers these traits: confidence , enthusiasm. Everytime the brand sends a mail, the receiver observes the power of purpose in the content.

In short everything that this brand does, it leaves that imprint, that stamp, that signature that touch of yours that is unmistakably unique. Its like your moms food. You can make it out from a distance even when people around you are cooking.

Let me give u an example, the manager in my company keep a bowl of toffees at his desk. Anyone who passes by him picks a toffee. Anyone who drops by for some work picks a toffee before leaving. I think this is a very “sweet” thing to do. The other day I found a bunch of printed “Thank You” cards at his desk. I asked him and he said, we often tend to forget thanking people around u when they are of help. And this is my way of thanking them by leaving a note behind the card.

So you see its not the big things that adds brand value. It is such little things that can add to your brand.

Having said that, let me also say that personal branding is not just about sprucing yourself up with cosmetic additions. It finally boils down to who you are at your core authentic self. Your personal brand emerges from the search for your identity and meaning.

Hope you will take good care of your company, Me, Inc.
Thank you.

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Sanskara(Character): As defined by Vivekananda

“If you have lost your wealth, you have lost nothing; if you have lost your health, you have lost something; if you have lost your character, you have lost everything.”-

Swami Vivekananda

It has been a sort of positive revelation for me in my personal life to have read "Secret of Work" by Swami Vivekananda. Though not the whole chapter, but the paragraph where he explains how a character is shaped in a man consciously or unconsciously. I strongly agree to his logic and the simplicity with which he explains would make sense even to tiny tots .

Well, I attempt to describe in my own way what he meant by Sanskara and how it is built in a man. I would recommend everyone to read the chapter "The Secret of Work" (available on Internet too).

Swami Vivekananda explains Samskara (Character) by comparing mind to a lake. Similar to a lake, every ripple, every wave that rises in the mind, when it subsides, does not die out entirely, but leaves a mark and a future possibility of that wave coming out again. This mark, with the possibility of the wave reappearing is called Samskara. According to Vivekananda, every work that we do, every movement of the body, every thought that we think, leaves such an impression on the mind, and even such impressions are not obvious on the surface, they are sufficiently strong to work beneath the surface, subconsciously.

"What we are every moment is determined by the sum total of these impressions on the mind."

What I am just at this moment is the effect of the sum total of all the impressions of my past life. This is really what is meant by character; each man's character is determined by the sum total of these impressions. If good impressions prevail, the character becomes good; if bad, it becomes bad. If a man continuously hears bad words, thinks bad thoughts, does bad actions, his mind will be full of bad impressions; and they will influence his thought and work without his being conscious of the fact. In fact, these bad impressions are always working, and their resultant must be evil, and that man will be a bad man; he cannot help it. The sum total of these impressions in him will create the strong motive power for doing bad actions. He will be like a machine in the hand of his impressions, and they will force him to do evil. Similarly, if a man thinks good thoughts and does good works, the sum total of these impressions will be good; and they, in a similar manner, will force him to do good even in spite of himself. When a man has done so much good work and thought so many good thoughts that there is an irresistible tendency in him to do good, in spite of himself and even if he wishes to do evil, his mind, as the sum total of his tendencies, will not allow him to do so; the tendencies will turn him back; he is completely under the influence of the good tendencies. When such is the case, a man's good character is said to be established.

I firmly believe in the above mentioned logic. Being a human, we will have moments when we think wrong thoughts, when we get into wrong company, wrong environment. But its our duty to stay conscious of our thoughts and immediately replace them with good thoughts. That way you will help build positive character.

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Pyramid of Success: John Wooden (Part II)

John Wooden may have created the Pyramid of Success 60 years ago, but sinking yourself into it, you would find its relevance is beyond time or age. The relevance is not just in sports, but to all fields in life. He is 98 today and listening him speak fills me with veneration and deep admiration. Wooden’s famous philosophy through the Pyramid of success is a guiding force to many young lives today.

The Pyramid depicts 15 habits that John devised with experience through daily basketball practice. The cornerstones of the pyramid is "industriousness," then "friendship, loyalty, cooperation, and enthusiasm;" in short, the foundation of the Pyramid is the knowledge that life, like basketball, is a team game. "The main ingredient in stardom," Mr. Wooden told his players, "is the rest of the team.". The first layer above the foundation is Mr John’s stress on mental powers that focuses on “self control, alertness, initiative, and intentness” With 15 years of work put down in framing the pyramid, John though put industriousness and enthusiasm as cornerstone, skill was placed at the heart. After the mental and physical comes the spiritual row of "poise and confidence." This row can be thought of as Mr. Wooden's definition of success: peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.

John’s seven point creed, given to him by his father after his graduation:
ul>

Be true to yourself.

Make each day your masterpiece.

Help others.

Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.

Make friendship a fine art.

Build a shelter against a rainy day.

Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

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On Success: John Wooden (Part I)

I have been pining for affirmation, for assurance from someone who would provide me the true definition of success and what is it to have succeeded. The beauty of life is that in its due course, it presents you epiphanies in seemingly ordinary moments. Moments that could be inconspicuously small, yet provide you with wisdom of a lifetime. One such moment I would ascribe to was today, while I was watching John Wooden speak at TED. John Wooden speaks about the difference between winning and success, succinctly in his 17 minutes talk.

In this post I would try to distill his thoughts in my own modest way. First a few words about the living legend.

Born in 1910, Coach John Wooden is the first person to be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame both as a player and coach, while ESPN ranks him as the greatest coach of all time, across all sports. In his 40 years at UCLA, he has mentored legends such as Bill Walton and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. His career has been illustrious to say the least, and he has created a model, the Pyramid of Success, and authored several books to impart his insight on achievement to others.

The initial words that got me hooked to this man were this:

"Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self- satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable" -John Wooden.

This was so illuminating, so invigorating to the mind. Its profound simplicity hits you on your face and brings your whole pursuit of success to perspective. He derives this definition after his tryst with his moment of epiphany, which he narrates in his talk. During his early years as an English teacher, he was disappointed and delusioned when the parents of his students expected their kids to get an A or B, and thought C was ok for neighbour’s children, because the neighbours’ children were all average. This made no sense to him because for him, God in his infinite wisdom never created everyonel equal, in intelligence, size or appearance.

And so in pursuit of being a teacher where a student is not judged by higher marks in a subject or more points in an athletic contest, he came up with his own definition. He says, if you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable of and try to improve the situation that exists for you, that is success. And no one else can judge that other than you. He also compares it with character and reputation.

“Reputation is what you are perceived to be and character is what you really are. And character is much more important than what you are perceived to be. You hope both are good, but it’s not necessary to be the same. You should never try to be better than someone else. Always learn from others. Never cease trying to be the best you could because that is in your control. If you are too engrossed and involved and concerned in things that aren’t in your control, it will adversely effect the things over which you have control.”

The words ring like chiming bells and though we seem to know most of these facets of worldly wisdom, it needs reaffirmation from men of his stature .

Contd…(John Wooden’s pyramid of success)

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Speak!

I am delivering this speech this weekend. Will let you know the results!

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Status: I didnt win. But I was very much in the contention. But the winner was too good. The best speaker won. No qualms

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'I have a dream today...that the children of tomorrow will not be judged by the color of the skin but by the content of their character"

This is an excerpt from the historic speech by one of the greatest leaders in world history, Martin Luther King, who delivered this speech to 200 thousand supporters during the American Civil Rights movement.

By speaking the way he did, he educated, he inspired, he galvanized not just the people in the audience, but people throughout the country. And I must add people throughout the world. His speech was not just for the people of his times but to all unborn generations just like us. If it were’’t so, we wouldnt be talking about a speech that was delivered 5 decades ago.
King went on to win the Noble Peace Prize. He was a leader par excellence.

In contemporary times, the whole world witnessed history unfold in USA with a first black president elected. And we all saw how the man turned legend Obama made the whole country look upto him. It was his sheer oratory skills that inspired the nation to elect him. Even the huge youth populace that never cared about elections before.
Pick any great leader out of a leaf from the pages of history. You will find each leader had a unique leadership trait of his own. But there is one trait that was common to all these great leaders.

Each of them were powerful orators.
And when they spoke, the world took notice.

My purpose in giving you these examples is to drive the point on the importance of public speaking in the success of an individual’s life. Yes I agree, credentials too are important, but leaders like Lincoln and King have surpassed contenders who were far more well read and better qualified. Only with one weapon. That is the power to stand and deliver.
Many of you would not relate to my argument, since you don't see themselves contesting elections, addressing huge gathering. Don’t you.
But in a dynamic society that we live in, where we meet conflicts everyday, you always find a need to stand up for yourself. We always find ourselves in situations where we need to be heard, where we need to drive home a point, to convince, to complain to cajole. It could be as simple as passing a proposal in your office, it could be convincing your neighborhood community club about the cleanliness drive, or it could be convincing your parents at home on why your childhood sweetheart is more suited to be their ideal “ghar ki bahu”.

I might sound trivial, but let me tell you, only a person who is eloquent enough will win these everyday conflicts at ease and come out a real winner in life. I have seen many instances, and I am sure many of you too, where someone with an authority in voice has walked into a public office and gets his job done whereas all others would be standing in queue with their complaints. He would be offered a seat and a glass of drink, whereas others would be left at the mercy of time.
That’s what public speaking does to you. You don’t have to stand in elections to be an eloquent speaker. Public speaking makes you a leader in your daily life.

There is one mistake that we all make while judging great speakers. When we see them speak, we look at them with awe and assume they are so gifted. But they were not when they started.
I will narrate you a personal experience that happened to me six years back. I and a few friends formed a youth magazine during my college years. It was a hit and since I was the founder member, I was asked to give a speech on the magazine unveiling ceremony on my experiences. I glowed in the thought of it. I imagined the kind of popularity it would bring me and I dreamt of it. I drafted a speech mentally as I knew what I had to talk. When I was given a heroic welcome, I climbed up the dais with chest pumped up and I looked at the audience. The 100 odd youngsters multiplied by two number of eyes looked like a million. I froze. I couldn't utter a word. And when I tried I muttered something which I myself couldn't’t understand. That was my most embarrassing moment of my life.

Today six years hence, thanks to Toastmasters I have conquered the fear of facing an audience.
Well, it’s not just me, read biographies of great speakers. They had failed miserably in their initial public appearances. It was only through sheer resilience to turn things around that they bloomed to become powerful orators of their times.

Friends, trust me. Eloquence is a trait that you earn with practice. So, challenge yourself, get rid of the comfort of your chairs. All you need to do is get up and speak.

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Past Imperfect. Present Tense

I will be delivering my first project speech at Hyderabad Toastmasters Club tomorrow. This is the speech!

Update: I delivered the speech. And the audience laughed. To an extent that inspite of many senior speakers, I was nominated the best speaker for the day. :)
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Please be rest assured. I am not going to give you grammar lessons today. Past Imperfect. Present Tense in short epitomizes my life.
For the Icebreaker session, I pondered if I have anything worthwhile in my life to share. Since, I have been a damp squib all through my life.
But before that let me give you glimpses of a confused yet kaleidoscopic growing up years.

So, after being tired a doing somersaults for 9 months in my mothers womb I decided that its time to come out and set the world on fire. 21st October 1981, a momentous day in world history. A star is born. Aah not star. Tubelight would be more appropriate. It sputtered, it clicked and it did glow sometimes.
But the moment I am pulled out I find myself held by an ugly looking doctor with big eyes, bigger spectacles and bushy eyebrow. One look at him and I was so shocked that I couldn't speak for the next two years.

Fast forward 8 years hence, long after I had begun talking. Class 5, Sec E, DAV Public School, Bhubaneswar. Time is 11:30 am. The lunch bell rings. I open my bag, get hold of my tiffin box, rush to the dustbin, empty my tiffin box in the dustbin and rush down the stairs on to the field. Following me are other classmates running . And we reach the end of the field, below that banyan tree . The boys from Section B are already there. My name is called and from the other section the other boy's name too. We both circled by the noisy crowd. For the next 20 minutes follows kicks and boxes, and rolling in ground. 20 minutes later I stand up with panting and puffin in soiled clothes, bruises on my knee and elbow, but nevertheless a triumphant smile on my face and adulation from boys of my section. That was the fight club in my school.

Fast forward 4 years hence. Class 9 Section D. corridor of DAV Public school. A group of girls coming from the opposite end. The moment I see them, I freeze. I sense I am the only guy there. I get the urge to turn back and walk the other way. But I dont. I look down and walk shakily and crossing the giggling girls never ever raising my head. The confident and mischievous young lil boy of class 5 inexplicably grows to become a shy, bumbling, and awkward lad who cant see a girl eye to eye.


Fast forward 2004. Scene Barista. A spanky new mall in Gurgaon. Sipping coffee along with his first date. The awkward guy of class 9th had learnt to ask a girl out. Thanks to the outgoing girls in call the centers of Gurgaon.
That pretty much sums up my external metamorphosis.

But lemme share some deeper aspects of my personality.
A below average student all my life, a real worry for my parents if I could at all make a life out of myself. I never won an award in school. Did not have any achievements to boast of. But there was one thing me that I am always proud of myself. I always made my presence felt wherever I went.

I would occasionally show sparks of brilliance, but never made my mark. Just as a tubelight

During my engineering days, I developed a fancy towards the English language. In the third year, I along with a few junior friends formed a youth magazine, AKANKSHA, sub titled Dreams Drive Us.

It was here that I learnt a real skill. But then I had mastered the art of converting proud moments into moments of great embarrassments. I was called up on stage to deliver a speech on the magazine unveiling ceremony. I climbed up with pride swelling my chest and faced the audience. The 100 odd crowd multiplied by two number of eyes staring at me. I was frozen. Blank. I mumbled, I muttered and hardly spoke. Just like a tubelight.

Fast forward 6 years hence, and my greatest fear of facing an audience is conquered. Thanks to Toastmasters.

I do a lot of things in my regular life. Since I want to compensate for all the shy years in college, I do just about anything shamelessly. I read good books, as they provide me solace from the madding world outside. I walked on the ramp in a fashion show in my company. I shook a leg in a choreographed dance last year in Bangalore. I travelled alone to the Himalayas and surrendered myself to the mountains for 15 days this September. My life is a canvas, I just want to keep filling colors of all sorts.

Well achievement or no achievement. Success or no success. I do not care. I just know one thing, that I want to lead a creative life.

I heard someone say, that when you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. Make it worth watching.
I have been trying to do that lately.

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Just Books

I will always regret one thing about my life. That is I took to books very late in my life. After graduating, to be precise. What started as sporadic dabbling with Sidney Sheldon, Dale Carnegie and Sherlock Holmes then, in about five years it grew to diverse authors and numerous books. I still remember pocketing my first book. It was the, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It saw the cover ogling at me from the corner shelf at a book stall in Bhubaneswas book fair. I reciprocated.
The kind of skewed, confused, and a loner teenager I was, the title promised me with my life's solutions. I gingerly grabbed it and turned the pages, and bought the book.

Never before had I purchased a book other than my subject books then. Its usually the first book that you pick in life which makes or breaks your reading habit. I devoured the book. Made notes as I read, referred to dictionary for a lot of unknown words, highlighted statements that I felt were important. I fell in love at it at that impressionable age that I was. My love affair with books had begun. I gradually started reading self help books, the likes of Carnegie, Shiv Khera and Robin Sharma.

Then I gradually opened up to other books thanks to some of my well read friends. With time the appetite for books has grown steadily and I cant imagine life without them. I might not get time these days, but no matter how pressed I am atleast a few pages before switching off guarantees a good sleep. I was listing my life's priorities this new year and reading featured at the top close second to body building.

There are some kids who are like 10 years younger mock at my collection. They have them all read and far too many more. I envy them. They average one book a week. I dont get time. I wish I could be paid to read books. I am sure there are some who are. Till then, I will play catch up at my own pace.


The following are the books I have read. And there is also a list of books that I have been pursuing to read

BOOKS READ

Fiction:


City Of Joy; Catcher in the Rye; Doctors; Love Story, Man, Woman and Child; Jonathan Livingston Seagull; Inscrutable Americans; Da Vinci Code; Papillon; Animal Farm; Alchemist; Fountainhead;Old Man and the Sea; 11 minutes;Catch-22; To Kill a Mocking Bird; The Guns of Navarone; Such a Long Journey:Rohinton Mistry;Inheritance of Loss;The Jungle Book: Rudyard Kipling; Interpreter of Maladies-Jhumpa Lahiri; SeaBiscuit Like the flowing river-Paulo coelho; KiteRunner:Khaled hosseini; Thousand Splendid Suns; Sidhartha ; Bachelor of Arts: RK Narayan; Almost Single: Advaita Kala





Non-Fiction:


Edward De Bono;Tuesdays with Morrie;World is Flat;Art of War;Maximum City-Suketu Mehta; Who won the Oil Wars-Andy Stern; The High Performance Entrepreneur-Subroto Bagchi; The Long Tail; Guns Germs and Steel; Fortune at the Bottom of the Pyramid; Banker to the Poor: Md Yunus; Shantaram; My experiments with truth; Mein Kampf; Banker to the Poor: Md Yunus, The power of your subconscious mind: Joseph Murphy; The Google Story: David Vice; The Autobiography of a Yogi: Swami Yogananda Paramhansa; The Secret: Rhonda; Freakonomics; Blink: Malcolm Gladwell;





Books that are in my wish list:


The unaccustomed earth by Jhumpa Lahiri;

1984


It's not about the bike - Lance Armstrong;


The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga;


The Diary of a Young Girl: anne Frank;


Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry;


Lolita;


Crime and punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky;


Shame - Taslima Nasrin;


Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen;


Reluctant Fundamelist;


Moth Smoke


A Million Little Pieces - James Frey


A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
War and Peace: Leo Tolstoy


A House for Mr.Biswas - V. S. Naipaul


Family Matters - Rohinton Mistry


An Equal Music - Vikram Seth
Calcutta Chromosome - Amitav Ghosh


Gone with the wind - Margaret Mitchell


Also all the books here:

http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html
http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1.Best_Books_Ever

Will keep updating this post....

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Information Pollution: Are you a victim?

I am a victim of it. Give me a minute. I will soon explain you what information pollution is. But first let me take you through a scenario.

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I need to create a presentation for my team that I have to present next week. So I need to get started.
Sunday 6:00 pm: I log in to my computer(Internet I mean.Computer isn't a computer unless its connected to Internet). Let me check my mails first for a while. Aah quite a few. No none from my friends. They are mails from dozen odd sites and blogs to whom I am subscribed to. I open and just brush through them and moving on. "Hi", i receive a ping from my Gtalk friend. "Hi, how u doing" and ensues few minutes of dilly dallying. My eyes catch to a blog link of another friend who is sporting it in his status message. My fingers click it automatically. And some more time brushing through his blog post. He opines on the Satyam fiasco. I read and jump to a related link and in a few minutes I see through a dozen cross linked pages.
I am reminded of my task in hand. I start by googling about my presentation topic. I get a whole list of links. I click and find something more interesting and irrelevant than what I wanted. I am hooked again for dont know how long.
Sunday 9:00 pm. I haven't started my work yet.
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Do you suffer from such distractions?
Is information overload becoming too overbearing?

This new trend is resulting in digital fatigue and digital noise. The big hyped Information Age is generating a lot of clutter in our lives.
"Information pollution is where it stops being a burden and becomes an impediment to your ability to get your work done" says Dr Nielsen, a Internet Usability expert.
E-mails, internet, blogs, Instant messengers, SMSs, Twitters: we proudly talk about them as social media tools of the 21st Century. They are meant to communicate better, search better, reach faster, but what I just mentioned are some of the negative effects.
Though the tools are all good and purposeful, the accumulative and uncontrolled bombardment of information to a receptive eye is dangerous. No one has gone unscathed with the nuisance of Spam mailers. But not much has been done in the IT fraternity to curb this menace.
"If people don't develop really harsh counter-measures, it will basically destroy their ability to use the computer in any productive way and it becomes the ruler of your time," warns Dr Nielsen.

Resolution
I am reminded of an excellent piece of repartee from a wise colleague of mine. At office lunch table, I was surprised to know that he did not have Internet at home. I remarked that I cant think of life without Internet, to which he quipped, "I was never born with one"
Well, he is one soul who has stuck to his good old ways of life. But there are many harried one's like me who have enslaved themselves to the Internet.
For people, who still think the idea to disentangle from the Internet is impossible can consider having "switch off" days in a week, where they would stay away from the medium.
I personally consider "switch off" days from mobile very effective.
The icing on the cake for me is going to happen in April this year, where I am going to be on switch off mode from civilization for 10 at a stretch. And not just that. I would be mum for these 10 days. Its a Vipasanna Meditation edict to follow such restraint. Hope this would remove the accumulated clutter in life.


Well its not just me to get rid of this mess. There are many like me. And the likes of these people formed The Information Overload Research Group. This organization works together to understand, publicize and solve information overload problems.

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A Vicarious Life

Never ever in my wild dreams I saw myself turn into a workaholic. I had never imagined that life would throw such surprises that I would one day look at myself and ask, “Buddy, where were you all these days”. It is a sort of revelation for me to discover so many colors within me which till now never showed up.

A blank meanderer all through my life, suddenly I find one lifetime too less for things to be done. 24 hours too less for a day. And boy! Am I loving this feeling?

But there is something else happening along side this. Since, I sense, that I have lost so much time in discovering myself and I could have achieved so much more if I had more time, there is a tendency to outsource this desire onto others. To plant on others and see them achieve things that I myself have missed the bus. To get the same sense of gratification, albeit through proxy. In short, to succeed vicariously.

It took me a few days of contemplation and self talk to realise that I am doing the same. Seeking vicarious gratification through my younger sister.

Soon after her 12th, I burden her with a list of loaded “To Do” goals that she needs to achieve before graduating. Few go like this: set up a city wide youth public speaking club, organizing a summer camp for kids, start her own Internet business. What I was doing through this was trying to ignite the same passion in her through me.

Alas! It back fired. Instead of asking her to live her age and do her own things her own way, I thirsted things which I fancied doing through her. So it failed to light the spark in her because it never originated in her at the first place.

It’s not an one off thing. Everyone at some point or other in his life tries to derive this vicarious thrill through others, usually with their young ones.

It is a grave mistake to plant your convictions, your beliefs, and your opinions on them. Instead, what you could do is create a breeding ground in their bosom to kindle their own passions. As I write this, I am reminded of a beautiful thought of a character in the novel, Kite Runner, which says:

“"Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."

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Time for some exercise frens!

Read the poem below that I wrote for you. And you would thank me :)

Feeling better? :)

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The Outside

I had a talk with my dad last night. It was regarding a few 'wrong' decisions that I took in my life and how I should avoid taking them. The crux of his argument(if you can call it, as I was a mute listener) was, we are middle class people and we should only dream so much and we can only achieve so much. And that we are meant to live a simple and contended life.



After suffering major financial losses in my failed business venture and falling straight flat on face, he thought it was an embarrassment to the family before the relatives and neighbours. According to him, the world thought I got into business because I did not have a worthwhile job. Whereas he knows I was earning far better than what would make him a proud father. But it didn't matter. What bothered him was that the world around thought something else.

I am tempted to defend my stand by writing about business and entrepreneurship here, but this post is not about the spirit of entrepreneurship. I would recommend all naive souls who think like my dad to read India Unbound, by Gurcharan Das.

The purpose of my post, is something else. I want to talk about 'The Outside'.

Majority of our life's decisions are dependant upon other people's opinions and approval. Do you agree? My dad thought his neighbors and relatives didn’t approve of what we were venturing into. Our happiness too in life most of the times, is a function of other people's opinions. And that’s an inherent trait we mortals have been carrying on our shoulders since time immemorial.

For instance, you have a very pretty wife. But would you be happy if the world around you is not aware of this fact. You would proudly display your prized possession to others and the admiration from the onlookers would then make you happy. Your daughter wins a medal in college but your soul is not in peace until you share it to people around you. You strive for that Ivy league degree, that plum job, not because you want it, but may be because you want to flaunt it.

I went to the Himalayas this October all by myself. It was a fabulous experience. But the moment I was back, I was in a hurry to share all my pics and videos to my friends and acquaintances. If I dissect my motive, it presents a very uneasy picture. Its all about the craving to be appreciated and admired.

But isn't it too suffocating, too overbearing, to spend all your life pleasing others.

Can you be blatantly honest to yourself and look yourself in the mirror and ask if all your actions in your life are a result of what your heart seeks. Or is it because you want to be admired.

I know its quixotic, to live such a life. And it takes a lot of character. But I have been privileged to have met such people in my life.

There was a certain Mr Maniyan, who had a fulfilling job in terms of respect and money. He was in a learning and development domain. But his work consumed most of his time and by the time he would be back, he would find his only daughter deep in sleep. When he saw his daughter asleep one day, the next thing he did was shoot a quiet resignation letter to his boss and decided to devote more time to the family. He made a decision to live life of his choice. Last heard he still stays at home handling freelance projects, much to the amusement of his neighbours. ;)

There are also many renowned examples to pick up from. One of them, as most of you would know is John Wood.

After earning his MBA from Kellogg School of Management, John Wood joined Microsoft and went on to become Microsoft's Director of Business Development for the Asia Pacific region. But once on a soul searching trip to the Himalayas, Wood decided to change his life's focus to help children break the cycle of poverty through the lifelong gift of education. In 2000, he founded Room to Read, a nonprofit organization that promotes literacy in Nepal, India, Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, and soon in Africa.


By the end of 2007, the organization had established over 5,000 libraries and 400 schools, and awarded long-term scholarships to more than 3,000 girls, giving more than one million children the lifelong gift of education


In short John and Manian followed “The Inside” and gave two hoots to ” The Outside”.

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24 hours too less...

Last Saturday was special. Till 1 am in the noon I wallowed on my bed luxuriating on the agenda free morning.

A lovely morning. I thought. My half opened eyes confirmed. My body and heart demanded me to stay put on bed and do nothing.

I stared blankly at the revolving ceiling fan. It looked like a porter's wheel and I could imagine vessels being created out of its cog. I observed the progressing sun light spreading onto my bed, and then receding. The tiny black ant on my pillow looked like it had lost its way and kept doing circles earnestly.
I flipped through the Brida on my bed (Yes I sleep with a book) desultorily, deliberately trying not to comprehend the words that passed my eyes. In other words, my mind was on a pampering binge. Such moments have become rare in my life. The sheer pleasure of nothingness and stillness, which I never realised before, dawned onto me.

Its fascinating how nature lends you such nuggets of wisdom in its own distinct ways. You only ought to be ready to receive them. And today i was.

Contd...

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Thank God! it wasnt me...

Thank God it wasn't me, neither it was with any of my kith and kin in the Mumbai tragedy. This is the first thought that occurs within anyone who is not effected with a tragedy of this sort. I rummaged through my old diary where I had attached a cut out from the newspaper which had featured an article on exactly this thought. That was when Orissa was battered with the super cyclone. It is a heart wrenching piece of prose. Please read it. It will stir your conscience.

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When is it going to be politically correct to tell a joke again, go to a party, admit you are enjoying life? Post disaster, how long should collective mourning, as distinct from the individual grief of these who have lost loved ones-last? Disaster creates an aftermath of moral ambiguity. The initial shock of horror gives way to an insidious sense of guilt. But at the heart of that sympathy, there is a small but irrepressible inner voice which says:Thank God it wasn't me. This is the guilt of the survivor's, a haunting disquiet, as affective as it is irrational. That those who have died have somehow died in our stead, by some inexplicable calculus of mortality lost their lives so that we may live. Survival is tinged with shame. That we the living have, after the fact, allowed others to die on our behalf, death by proxy. Guilt sharpens grief gives it is a jagged edge.If we recognize this guilt, we exorcise it as the specious spectre that it is. Thank God it wasn't me. The thought is as normal and natural as breathing. Or indeed as dying. Where in this is there cause for shame? Or of sorrow for the sake of sorrow. Life absolves the living. Thank God it wasn't me. It is not a secret wish for another's death. It is an affirmation of a celebration called life, of which death is also an inseparable part. The show goes on, with or without us.

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