An Open Letter: Shame on You

Mr XYZ,

I am Ravi Kumar and I had the misfortune of visiting your house with regards to my sister's marriage proposal yesterday.

I am writing this e-mail to hopefully make you realise of the kind of huge blot and shame you are for the society.

You had sent us a neatly prepared bio-data for your son, which said you wanted, " a good educated family background". Today I will teach you what a "good educated family" can do when they meet such disgusting people with criminal mindset.

We too had mentioned that we are looking for a family with integrity, but you either did not understand what integrity means or comfortably choose to avoid that.

First let me remind you of the crime you committed and be categorical on your statements made:

• You demanded shamelessly should I say, cash worth of 10 lakhs, a 4 wheeler, gold worth 1.5 lakh; furniture etc ; as if you and your family are crippled for the rest of you life.
• You also stated some ridicolous conditions like for every lakh of cash paid, you would gift a tola of gold to my sister as if the gold was going out of your house.
• What put me in utter disbelief is the statement you made just before dowry discussions began. When my father asked your expectations you said, "you show us your cards first and then we will show our cards". This was sickening. Your statement in no way demonstrated that you are going to engage in an eternal and pious matrimonial alliance. Your words were stinking of gambling match.
• You also said that you incurred heavy expenses in your sons education especially when he was staying away from home. I never knew you were waiting for this day to recover your losses through your daughter in law.
• You also said to my parents that they too have a son. And so have a scope to earn in dowry as well. I will invite you to my marriage for you to see how much dowry would I accept.
• You said you have many other parties willing to offer you much more than what you asked us. This shows your insensitivity towards this alliance and our family.
  

It is shameful that you yourself are in a respectful position in a reputed Navratna organization, NALCO.

How on earth did you assume that a "good educated family background" would heed to this nonsense. My whole family was seething in anger. But anger is not enough for a "good educated family". The anger should be followed with action so that next time you dont dare invite a "good educated family" for an alliance.

We have been taught that giving or asking dowry is a criminal offence under IPC 498A. I hope you too are aware of it.

You mentioned your bridal requirement as : slim, fair and good looking. Who do you think you are and what makes you think you deserve the best in the world. And why do you think you can make any condescending demands. Your son is only a software engineer, an instance of a new wave of high paying white color labourers. And also as if your son is a sleek pack of God sent alpha male. I wouldnt want to make any personal remarks against him because you tactfully asked him to leave the discussion when it actually mattered. So, I am not sure if he is party to this crime.

My sister too is an engineer from the same college that your son passed out from. And she too is pursuing her MBA just as your son.

You also raised numerous questions on the credibility of a HR professional. My only point is why on earth did you waste so much of our time, money and effort on discussing all that when the sole criterion of your consideration was MONEY.

What I can't believe is you yourself are in a reputed public organization.
Me and my sister are launching an anti dowry campaign on a national scale. And I am involving Dewanga Association(our community) to be a part of this campaign.

Now be ready to face the consequence.

The day you feel sorry for your actions, let us know. We will try to save you from this ignominy.

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Dear friends,

I am a first hand witness to this dastardly act of dowry demand. And my education and value system would be worthless if I would just be a silent victim to this crime. What turned out a revelation for me is that this practice is rampant within modern educated families in cities. Forget what is happening in villages.

I am angry not just with this family but with every family that commits this crime. Why do you think in India, there is so much of disparity in male/female sex ratio? It is because female infanticide is rampant in all bloody clinics in cities, right under our nose. I have a friend who is a doctor and she was emotionally blackmailed to deliver a girl child, when medical science clearly proves that a woman has no role to play in the deciding the sex of child.

We have just started a facebook community and purchasing a domain for a website. The plan is to record people's complains about any dowry demands across the country in facebook/website. We would then publish the address of the culprit in this domain with a fair verification process.

People going though the address can then send torn chappals to that address.

I hope with this fear and embarrassment there will be a drop in dowry cases. I feel this is more effective that legal and police cases. This would be a movement/revolution by the people. Please participate in the campaign by filling up the form below:

Registered people till now:

1. Sunayana Bangalore
2. Anshuman Swain Auckland, NZ
3. Shanthi S Bangalore
4. Amit M Bangalore
5. Dr J Swain Secunderabad
6. Spandan Mishra Bhubaneswar
7. Uttiya Das Bangalore
8. Oishik Bagchi Gandhinagar
9. Rohith Ganguly Ananthapur
10. Swati Bhubaneswar
11. Dinesh Sahu Bhubaneswar
12. Naveen Bangalore
13. Nivedita Bishwal Melbourne,Australia
14. yash Auckland,NZ
15. isha gwalior
16. Ruchi Mumbai
17. Mayuresh K Bangalore
18. Jishnu Thrissur
19. Naveen Gwalior
20. Anwesa Bhubaneswar
21. gopesh AHMEDABAD
22. Sruthi Haripad
23. Aghoshlal Nakulan Kollam,Kerala
24. Varsha Hyderabad
25. Thryza Dow Mumbai
26. Madhukar BR Bangalore
27. Ramkumar P Salem
28. Swetansu Mohapatra Goa
29. Varrun Ramani Chennai
30. satabdee biswal hyderabad
31. Shweta Hyderabad
32. Preeti Pooja Bhubaneswar
33. Aditya Mani Jha Ranchi
34. akash salim trivandrum
35. Midhunlal G Kannur, Kerala
36. Bijoy Prakash Mumbai
37. Jazarine Calicut
38. Kasturi Baral Cuttack
39. Sarada rivandrum
40. Vasundhara Bangalore
41. Krishnakumar D Coimbatore
42. pria chennai
43. Biji Bangalore
44. Deepa Dutt Bangalore
45. Ranjan Kumar das Bangalore
46. Divya Thrissur
47. Nivedita Hyderabad
48. Kuntal Sen Kolkata
49. Lawrence Aloysius Thrissur, Kerala